The Ameri-Cain receives a new captain, Lt. Cmdr Queeg (played by Donald Trump). Queeg turns out to be an irrational idiot. He streamed over his own reality show line and tried to turn the Ameri-Cain into a reality show line as well. This earned Queeg the nick name “Old Orange Stain”. Maryk (General Kelly) tries to control the chaos created by Keefer (Steve Bannon, in a sure-fired Oscar winning performance) and the out of control Congress boys. The hapless Ens. Keith is played, of course, by Jarod Kushner, proving nepotism has no place on the Ameri-Cain. Finally, after losing it during several hurricanes, Queeg finds himself facing tough lawyer Barney Greenwald (Robert Meuller) who reduces Queeg to jelly, where upon Queeg delivers his famous monolog:
“They were all against me, the Senate, the Congress Boys...”said Queeg, as his took two golf balls out of his pockets and rolled them incessantly. “They had the keys to the legal system and the disloyal and very, very, very not loyal… officers… but the crew loved me… well most of them… I gave them 10% off coupons for Mar-a-Lago t-shirts… … .. officers arranged for some of the forward-stationed crew to ran aft and vote an incredible number of times… Why doesn’t JAG look into that? …. And I had worked out how… with mathematical precision…, that only I, and I alone, could save the Ameri-Cain, but the previous captain had ruined the ship. And now you have this fake investigation of me… Say are you Mexican?”
Terrific, incredible (i.e.: inspires terror and is not believable) said DJT calling it the best movie ever made and gave his own performance 10 out of 10.
Lee Moller is a life-long skeptic and atheist and the author of The God Con.